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Secret love
Published: Tuesday | April 19, 2011 2 Comments
Q. I am madly in love with an older woman at work. I am not eating as I should and do not sleep well either because I am constantly thinking about her. I am shy and do not know how to tell her of my love.
I do not normally get along with people, including my co-workers.
This woman has been my supervisor since I joined this business some six months ago. I have told her I am in love with a woman who is polite, punctual, a good listener and communicator. I also told her this woman I’m in love with is beautiful, compassionate and considerate. However, she does not know I am talking about her. In fact, she shows no interest in me further than as a co-worker. She treats me professionally, and this is hurting me.
Should I tell her I am in love with her or should I write her or ask a fellow co-worker to approach her? What do you think?
A. You appear to be a new and young worker who has personality issues. Therefore, you have found yourself fond of this understanding and older female co-worker. However, you have started your love life on the wrong foot.
Apparently, you have been watching too many movies or reading too many novels and thought it would be a good idea to approach her by secretly confiding in her. She might be flattered you are interested in her. However, chances are she will consider this secretive approach as juvenile. She might think you were not mature enough to tell her upfront that you found her attractive and personable and wanted to go out on a date.
Furthermore, she might even consider you deceitful in that you came under the cover of seeking help with a problem when you wanted to get close to her.
This relationship may make the atmosphere difficult at work considering she is showing no interest in you. You might feel rejected, and it does not appear as if you can deal with rejection based on the way you have approached this relationship.
love relationships at work
Additionally, some persons do not like to have love relationships at the workplace, and some businesses do not want lovers to be working in the same department.
Is this woman married or engaged? What do you know about this woman? I think you should not continue with meeting this woman whom you are secretly in love with under the guise of seeking help from her. Allow for a period of at least three months to pass. After that, you could approach her frontally and perhaps, seek a date.
During the three months you should watch to ascertain whether she has any love intentions toward you. If there is still no interest, then perhaps you should not even bother approach her after three months.
Future reference, do not use that secretive approach with any woman. Instead, get to know the lady, and start a conversation and then invite her to somewhere interesting. In the meantime, go to a professional counsellor and deal with your personality issues. You need to grow up, and then you will make a good friend to a lady.
All the best in your future relationships.
Contact the counsellor at editor@gleanerjm.com.
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